We live in a world where rape whistles needed to be invented. Where blue lights need to decorate college campuses, next to emergency phones. We’re being seen newspapers find any skews plaster barely clad women on his pages phone boo some type of commentary.
When I walk across campus from the library to my car at night, I don’t carry mace with me.
When I’m at a house party, I don’t worry about getting fucked in my ass by three of my “friends” because I drank too much.
And then having pictures and videos of it sent to everyone at my school and posted online. Videos, where my other “friends” are standing by and doing nothing, or maybe even laughing and cheering.
If I get drunk, the worst my friends will do it take pictures of me with perverted hand-drawn signs……
Those are just two examples of things I have the privilege of never having to worry about because I was born a guy.
Because of that, I never try to pretend that I have any clue what women endure on an everyday basis. Yet, every day, that’s exactly what I see men doing. It seems pretty easy to talk about things that you’ve never had to worry about.
This post is dedicated to my former classmate who I just unfriended after he posted about the “war on men”, and how “all these stupid rape laws are put in place to take away mens freedom”. That if women don’t want to get raped, they “shouldn’t dress like they want to”, “be in control of how much they drink”, or my personal favorite, “don’t put yourself in a position where it might happen”.
So, in other words, don’t walk anywhere. And don’t attend any get-togethers where there might be men and/or alcohol. And don’t wear anything less than a snowsuit and ski mask. Gotchya.
He posted it in response to an article about a guy who was convicted of rape, but then was released a couple years later because of some technicality. Not because there was proof that he didn’t rape her. Just a technicality. Because of this, he wrote that the laws need to be changed and more burden put on the accuser. And harsh penalties for any woman who accuses someone of rape, but who isn’t convicted.
Because THAT’S definitely what we need. To make it MORE difficult for victims of sexual abuse to come forward. Because the burden of proof isn’t already almost entirely too difficult to prove. Because the court doesn’t already ensure that the victim not only endures reliving every detail of the assault in a public courtroom, but also has her entire sexual history called into question – as if that in any way has anything to do with her being sexually assaulted in the first place.
So, forget that only a tiny percentage of rape cases even end with the accuser facing significant jail time, and the countless women who are too afraid, intimidated, or embarrassed to even come forward – our priority should be addressing those handful of men who were wrongfully accused.
I don’t blame him. There’s still a large segment of Americans who think this way. Politicians talking about “legitimate rape, where the body has a way to just shut that whole thing down”, or that the 10-year-old who was raped by her stepfather and was forced to keep the baby should be relieved, because the baby is a “miracle from God” and “studies show that years later, that mother might fall into depression because she knows she killed her baby and she’ll wonder what might’ve been”.
“What might’ve been”. If the 10-year-old girl had kept a baby born by the rape of her step-father. THAT’S what they think the deciding factor should be in regard to abortion. They definitely have their finger on the pulse of this issue.
So no, I don’t blame my former classmate, though I’m embarrassed to say that we graduated from the same school, or even live on the same planet. It’s scary that people actually think that way. And no, there isn’t much I can do to change it. But I can at least keep that crap off my timeline. One unfriend at a time.