This is a very exciting time for New York sports. We’ve been given a mulligan. See, most of us pick our teams when we’re really young and often immature. We base our loyalties on silly things like who our parents like or which teams are popular (ie. which teams are winning, which leads more of your classmates to be fans). Many cities only have one team per sport to root for. Here in Charlotte, the locals have to root for the Atlanta Braves because we don’t even have an MLB team (many would argue we don’t even have an NBA team either).
In cities with multiple teams, it’s a cardinal sin to switch sides. You can’t root for the Mets for 20 years then switch sides because they suck. It doesn’t work that way. If you’re a Mets/Jets/Knicks/Islander fan, your sports life pretty much sucks and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Not since the Dodgers and Giants packed up and ventured out west, resulting in the birth of the Mets, have New Yorkers been given the opportunity to respectably jump ship. But thanks to our Lord and Savior, the God Emcee himself Jay-Z (his nickname is J-Hova for a reason), and the embarrassingly bad behavior of Isiah Thomas and James Dolan, we’ve been given a do-over.
So all you long suffering Mets and Jets fans who’ll likely go your entire life without seeing a championship? Y’all are just screwed. But for some of us, there’s an escape clause.
But don’t get it twisted – this Nets thing isn’t an invitation for everybody to switch. This is ONLY FOR PEOPLE FROM OR CURRENTLY LIVING IN BROOKLYN.
Meaning – if you were born and raised in Queens, but think Brooklyn is really cool? You cannot switch. If you “had an apartment once for a few months in Clinton Hills”, move on to the next article and just be glad that Knicks tickets will be easier to buy next seaon. If you were born in Brooklyn, but your parents moved to Jersey before you were old enough to pick out your own clothes? Then stop reading now, because this article has nothing to do with you. This “out” is strictly for those of us who were born and raised – raised – in Brooklyn OR currently live there. What that means is you have about four months to find an apartment in Brooklyn or else you’ll be stuck rooting for Kurt Thomas and wife-beater/telephone pole-attacker Jason Kidd next season. Good news though – rumor has it that James Dolan is passing on Jeremy Rin, but has deployed his top executives to find and sign Anthony Mason.
By the way: don’t try using a parent or friend’s address. No, no, no. Either you’re from or in Brooklyn. This isn’t some irrelevant school zoning – this is basketball. PS – apartments in Brooklyn are really expensive, as are Nets tickets and parking.
By the way pt. 2: The Knicks forward married Lala, but the Nets forward married (albeit briefly) Kim. Edge: Nets.
And I didn’t wanna bring this up Knick fans, but your starting center was naked on the cover of ESPN Magazine. That easily counters any Kardashian/Humphries insults you might be tempted to hurl.
Listen, I’ve been a Knicks fan for a long time. I had hair past my shoulders and had to shave it off on a bet when Reggie dropped 11 in 8 on us. Believe me, I’ve bled with this team. I’ve emulated Mason’s hairstyles. I’ve drafted or traded for Starks in every basketball fantasy league I was ever in. I watched the NBA change their hand-checking rules because they were tired of watching Knick playoff games finish with football-type scores.
This isn’t just Jay-Z or Bruce Ratner’s fault. It’s true, I’d pretty much let Jay-Z have babies with my wife if he asked me to. I’m as big a fan of him as I am of my son. I’m such a fan, that I ever listen to Kingdom Come on a semi-regular basis. But if Jay would’ve bought the Mets or Jets or anyone else and moved them to Brooklyn? I wouldn’t have changed. See, I like being proud of the teams that I support. I have a Yankees tattoo, a NY Giants (football) tattoo. I’ve bled for this Knicks team. And how have they repaid me? By letting Isiah Thomas run the blue and orange into ground. By giving Marbury a 400 year contract. By firing any coach or GM who ever had any success and by extending the contracts of whoever could embarrass us most. If they would’ve given me a product to be proud of over the past decade? I’d stay true. But I really believe that James Dolan is a Brooklyn Nets fan.
Will this be easy? No. I love Carmelo Anthony and have 4 of his jerseys. There’s a part of me that’ll probably always pull for my……I mean the Knicks to do well. And maybe my feelings will change once they actually take the court. But Brooklyn is in my blood. Nearly every good and bad childhood, teenage and young adult memory that I have comes from Brooklyn. I trust Brooklyn. I have pride in Brooklyn. Much more than I have in James Dolan, apparently.
Oh, and this is my second chance at an “out”, so don’t think I didn’t give the Knickerbockers a chance. I moved to Charlotte from New York last year and could’ve adopted the Bobkittens. The best thing about them is that you can buy court side season tickets for about $27 on Stubhub. As a side bonus, people can finally stop asking me if my blue and orange Carmelo jersey is a Mets “Anthony Young throwback”, which I surprisingly got asked three separate times last year.
So Knicks fans from or in Brooklyn – let this serve as your get-out-of-jail-free card. Sure, some people will hate. But that’s probably because they’re from the Bronx and are bitter. You’ve been presented with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Don’t blow it.
As Jay-Z and Little Wayne (even though Wayne is from New Orleans) so eloquently said: Hello Brooklyn!
Is it okay to switch alliances?? Leave comments below with your opinion…